This Pensive Squirrel is still at it – yes, still nut free after 25 days, and feeling pretty good about it too!
As far as one on one counseling, it was different than what I expected. I’m not sure what I expected, exactly, but it sure was different. It took me about a full week and wrap my head around what I was being told. I have been so wrapped up in trying to figure out WHY I am the way I am, and it seems I should have been concentrating more energy on the present and future instead of the past.
I’m not sure if I 100% agree with that technique. There is certainly something to be gained from looking at the past, but I suppose the point is that it’s nothing that is going to help me IMMEDIATELY. Sure I might gain some perspective, but it’s not going to help in the short term. I’ve already got plans to start talking to yet someone else about my deep-seated issues not related to addiction, but more to my life in general. I’m scheduled to go back in a week and see this guy, so we’ll see how it turns out.
In the meantime, everything seems to be going well in other areas of my life. I started my new shift yesterday evening, so I’m now working in the afternoon and evening hours as Technical Support. I’m the voice at the end of the line after 4:30pm when you call for technical support for my organization. Thing about it, most people go HOME after 4:30pm, so as you can imagine there haven’t been that many calls. Perfect time for me to relax, meditate, dedicate some time to myself and my other projects of interest, and whenever the phone rings, I’m on! I really enjoy helping people, and that’s what my job is now. So that part of my life has been going fantastic!
I’m looking back and almost can’t believe it’s really been 25 nut free days so far – it feels like the time has flown by. I’m certainly not missing all the cravings and ill feelings I had, or the dependency on those nuts to help keep my mood regulated. Funny thing about that though, I thought they were making me happy and calm and relaxed, but I would seem to fly off the handle at any little thing, and in general I had a much shorter temper and was more easily aggravated with the nuts. So, good riddance to bad nuts!
Still working on the concept of making a life where it’s easier NOT to use – so far so good. There have been some trying times where I felt like it would be easy to slip back into the comfortable numbness that the nuts provide – but that wouldn’t be a SOLUTION. Sometimes things in life that we have to face are uncomfortable, unpleasant, or upsetting. But they are never permanent; life is fluid and ever changing. I feel I gained a lot by being able to work through my problems by facing them head on, and was able to resist the urge to just cover up the issues (and make more problems) with nuts.
Thanks for reading everyone! My new job keeps me pretty busy but I’ll try to keep everyone as updated as I can! =)
P. Squirrel out!!